Apnee to Paathshaala …

But not so masti ki pathshaala and mostly har koi padhne wala ,har koi seekhne wala but mere alawa!
Now this is the time for a short break we will be back in a few seconds.
Ok. So if you are out of the sadma, you had after reading my last bullshit post and still kind of ‘ab bhee hai dum ‘ living creature, go ahead. I doubt if you are a masochist.

So welcome back after the break aur ap padh rahe hai crap and only crap ka ye episode only on lifelong-disappointment.com.
So friends I was talking about my pathshaala that is called Banasthali (pronounced as vanasthali) Vidyapeeth – a deemed university by the outer world. University for women: University with difference. That’s what the punch line says. The first part doesn’t need to more grumbled about, all I can say is that this university is samandar(ocean) of girls. And for the later part of punch line I tell you why they and we too claim it different –

1. A few hours ago I listened to the ‘samachaar’, while gulping down my chow ,on rashtriya prasaran of doordarshan and news reader read the today’s headlines .Part of it goes like that- ‘aur desh mai aj moharram ka parv jor-shor se manay gaya ‘. And then my minuscule IQ that matches number of decent bollywood movies or number of baths boys take in a year in a boys hostel , told me that my college doesn’t come in this feel-good Bharat desh. Yes I kid you not, be this Moharram or few other holidays, be it Bharat band (Rock Band nahi band=close), Rajasthan band, Jaipur band or other bands my college is khulla. Why not? Globalization ka zamana hai bhai , they don’t consider themselves part of any district or state or nation but of the whole world !! I told them chutti karo or bahanchara badhao , they don’t listen. I guess I will be able to deliver a good bhasan on cons of globalization in some GD.

2. The founder (the first chief minister of Rajasthan) of this university was a true visionary .He knew that someday khadi would be in vogue. . Recently I happened to flip through the latest India Today (anniversary issue) and noticed it saying ‘nowadays khadi serves as a trendy fashion statement ‘ in a related article. What can be the better news for we people who have to wear only khadi suits. And what more everybody has to wear only khadi. Lady professors/lecturers khadi sarees gents- khaadi shirts trousers, even the dean.

3. This university runs classes from 4th standard to PhD level. There are many cases where parents get their daughters admitted in 4th class and see them finally return to home after MTec or PhD or any other pg degree. I just wonder how girls do survive for years at the same place and that too in a non-guys school+college.

4. This will suffice the reason why parents want their bahu-betiya get admitted here. Actually this is one of the safest places in India for girls. This institution has never reported any kind of objectionable incident towards them. Moreover if you are here you just don’t have to worry about or call your parents if you slip in your bathroom and fracture your arm or wherever you want. Wardens and coordinator are caring enough to take care of you. From getting plaster on the broken bone to removing it off at their own hospital. Even girls call their beloved ones to make them listen the good news of their united American bone. It’s just that you are their responsibility once you are in campus.

5. Course structure- Ever seen a university that has a course of Parenthood and Family Relationships (PHFR) for B.Sc computer science? Or a course of Society and the Individual Today for the students of Senior Secondary (including PCB) students? This is the beauty of the course here; you get to learn much more than what you come for. Ok enough of boasting, I had PHFR in my 1st year of B.SC (comp sc-honors), Women In Indian Society (WISE) in 2nd yr, Entrepreneurship in 3rd yr and Mgmt & accounting in 1st sem of MCA and I know in fact everybody knows how much we would hate them.

6. Construction- the speed of construction here is amazing to say the least. Its actually quite similar to Bits-pilani Like Pilani is a village BV too is a village and almost whole village is under the university campus. Though I am in Jaipur campus which is nowhere in comparison to the main campus. But then all the rules -regulation, methodology of teaching, culture is totally same. Then girls have chance to hang out and tafree maaring at all the cool places here that those main campus wali chatrayein don’t have.

7. Office- like other universities you won’t see long queues a many times. And office clerks and peons are quite cooperative.

8. Teachers- If leave the some most reputed institutions, teachers are found throwing tantrums about taking the lectures. Many of my friends who have passed out from other colleges in Rajasthan or other state revealed that we had to /used to implore the lecturers to take a couple of classes. Here situation is opposite. I don’t mean that they beg us to give them class its just they are always eager to complete the syllabus at right time and in desired detail and if doesn’t complete in time band baz jaati hai hum logo ki , extra class pe extra class ! ya extra neend pe extra neend ?

9. Feedback forms- We students are given feedback forms to fill for the respective teachers. This is the moment where you can eulogize the teacher you love and same time throw imaginary ande, tamatar ,eet(bricks) ,pathhar ,fata dhudh, accumulated garbage or anything junk you want as you are told to write your name nowhere. And respective committee takes decisions accordingly like promotion, assignment of grading etc. Though I screwed up my DM paper badly but I was happy too since for the bhonpu (DM sir) we all gave all that crap feedback. And I thanked god as it was quite relieving that we (me and sir) wont have to tolerate each other anymore. And why I am talking specially about me and his toleration capacity is what whole class knows about, will write on it some other time otherwise it would be a bhataktee-post from what I chose to write.

10. Extra-Curricular- Girls here pursue Spanish, German, French, drawing, painting, dance (there are so many type of dances I even don’t know their names) horse- riding, swimming. Martial arts, gliding and flying courses (yes it has its own licensed air strip) and other various indoor and outdoor games. And I bet in painting, singing and dancing no one can beat banasthalites.

11. Annual and other functions- I am fade up of this appreciating now. This is where we are made watch only and only traditional and folk programs. If it’s a play its gonna be a decent one no matter how much humour you put into it. If its dance its gonna be only folk, classical one. Though they are not bad at all but its just we wish to have a change in fact every year girls go in national youth festival and they come back with 1st prize at least in dance. Would you find anywhere a college girl performing dance with 5-6 matkaas top of that fire too or dancing on thaalis or other tough stuff, who is never gonna make a career in it (may be not).

12. Short attendance- This is the list that keeps coming on notice board .Its always in such a way that will show subject wise short attendance. If one wish to attend all remaining class of her favourite subject, it’s just not possible. We have to make a fair balance in every subject no matter if this subject does taste you like kacchha karela.

13. Lab Assistants- They are quite cooperative BUT till the previous day of practical exam. They will help you in debugging the programs, in resolving some problem related to hardware, in getting your data downloaded in CDs or fixing up the dot matrix printer or any other that you report to them but on the D-day they will look like alien to you .In fact there doesn’t exist any concept of makhaan maraoing or pataoing them. Just imagine our night before the practical exam. Scare the shit out of you. Right?

14. Cell-phones- They are totally prohibited in the premises of the college. One day I was sitting in Net-lab( he he I do sit there daily, oh not today) and one of my friend told me that one fellow was talking on her cell and one man went close to him from the back and just pulled her cell violently , she yelled- ‘who the hell is this ‘before turning back and gosh it was our coordinator ! I guess she must have not got her cell till yet.

15. Image of Bansthalites- If somebody hear this girl is from BV the first thing will come to his mind- she must be a well-cultured Indian girl a decent one disregarding how many bfs she got, for how many times she wears suit leave khadi suit as soon as she is out of campus. They are regarded as hardworking and solid programmers among others, little do they know how deft we are in tepa maaring (I hope I will top this deftness) on last night of assignment submission date. Nah literally in Sunday-daily paper (I don’t know about other national ones) here you will see BV written in matrimonial ads with their other sundar-susheel-gharelu gun the same way IIT/IIM is written in the TOI/HT.

16. Trade-off - It’s the instt where 85-95% girls are from other states. And major crowd is from Delhi belt following UP,MP,Bihar,Hariyana etc. I have heard Delhi-girls are quite mod-shod balayen and so not able to figure out how come they decide to compromise with khadi suits and other conservatism .May be the placement thing.

17. Lingo- Bingo! Well that’s not any different thing that other instt’s students don’t have. Its what we tech girls are perfect on. Like we like to call Software engineering as Soft-E (sounds yummy, no?), System Analysis And Design as SAD (This is what the subject is, for many of us), Theory of computation as ToC(TALK), Object Oriented Programmings as OOPS! , Computer Oriented Numerical Method And Statistics as CO-NUMB, System Programming as SIS-PRO, Discrete Mathematics as DISMAT (are jo kismat mai nahi hai wo dismat hui na) and etc. Well last ones I made right now. Then there comes teacher’s name that I am very good at .I have discovered names like bhonpu, langoor, raavan, ghanti laal, bham bham bhole, allu for ahluwalia (folks can u tell me the way I can make some words written but in invisible mode, I will give you 4 orange toffees as yummy as SOFT-E)!) And these names were accepted on consensus. Some of high funda intellectual people found them gibberish. But that’s the way it is.

18. Hi-Hi – this university has never reported any strike and thus every exam and result are executed on time.

19. Fine- This is newly introduced one. If you are a hostler and have gone to home in diwali break or any other break (if it exist in this instt , bachhe ki jaan lenge madaari log) and don’t report on the first day after the end of it ,you will have to give fine 100 rs per day.I never felt that I have passed out from school way back ago and in some college now .

20. Forbearance (or the lack of it)-though I have blabbered all this in both the tunes, sweet and bitter as well, but still if a girl looks for a typical college fun life she will be disappointed a lot. Here we have 3-4 minor exams or tests and same no of assignments before the actual end sem exams, that means except some 15 initial days every week we have some or other tests or assignment to done with. Whatever we do tepa maaring or one night mugging up, tension is always there –ki test hai, assignment submit karma hai, chahe duplicate version tyaar kiya ho …then all these orthodox pana .Not exactly we do hate all this but we just want change at intervals.

Whatever .We love to hate our college. But clandestine affection for gainful education deep within our secret heart is there. It will add a chapter in our experience-keepsake. Perhaps-just perhaps-one day we will be able to shout it from the highest hill, but for now it must be like this : the love that dare not speak its name!!

(p.s- hey arora and nidhi ,do let me know if I have missed something about our jindabad college. I will love to add whatver it is, I am gutsy enough to do that. And hey arora I wont speak your proxies in lab and Sys-pro class, room mai pc hone ka matlab ye nahi hota ki ap mohtarma hostel mai maze kare samjha kar yaar mere paas bakwaas karne wala koi nahi hota hai to neend ati hai ! Though you know I like saying proxies of absentees…seekh, seekh kuch mujhse kitnee social service kartee hoon mai itnee kam umra mai jab mere khane khelne or koodne ke din hai ! kuch seekh, nidhi tu bhi )