Chocolate khani hai ?

Time-8.40 am. Anu enters the classroom with the help of her dozen friends sitting at the back rows. One moment they signal by their fingers to give me message ‘maar le entry’ and other moment showing their palm to my mischievous smiling face to indicate ‘abhi ruk’ depending on mam’s pose, i.e. whether she is facing to the class or white board to draw some dabbe-dhakkan. If she does not keep facing to anything for more than 10 seconds it seems my foot is doing harmonic motion, one step forward and next moment one step backward with respect to the signal inner part of class send to me.

Well this drama is often done for two days a week, because rest of this microprocessor’s class are held at other time and other 4 days at 8-9 is of the programming subject (data structures). Programming has always been one of favorite subjects; moreover even if you miss any single class or part of it, you have to struggle hard to catch up with next class. But mp interests me like bhojpuri songs interests Michael Jackson. So no matter how much I try to move my ass from my home for 8am class, I end up leaving my home at some 8-15. Thus whatever, being aware or not of getting late I happened to reach at college at 8-30 am. That day it stretched to 8-40. Given my affinity to this subject, I attend this class just for attendance and for some laughter therapy to kick-off my day, discussing with my friends and making them observe class and mam from different angle. What is this different angle, not unique? Leave it. There are things like what they say love, which cant be described in words, irrespective of ones attempts to do that. I really cant put that notanki in words, just get it that they proved to be a comedy serial whose every episode is made daily without any light-camera-action or cut-cut.

Quite deftly that day too I ducked into the room, sat myself down on the chair beside one of my friends who made my entry in class victorious. I should mention that I am not the only one. More often I am too the part of inner class and helping some new comer (don’t you dare to call latecomer, polish your communication skills). So when I finally settled down without getting mam realized that some macro-masti-processor has just entered in the microprocessor (mp) class, I transmitted an interrupt (who says I don’t read mp how else would have I known mp terms) to my coprocessor sitting next to me ‘oye assignment ho gaya kya?’
Dhara- ya almost finished

Me- ohk dikhana

Me- ‘tune to mp ki mahabharat likh daali re, itne bade bade answers …kisi or ka maarna padegaa…

Dhara- what! You haven’t done your assignment?

Me –obviously not, why else would have I bothered about the length of your answers ‘

Dhara giving me a look saying- tera kuch nahi ho sakta ! And me sab ho jayegaa!

Arora- man. limit hai, you are supposed to submit it at 9 o’clock and you have written even a single letter, not even the front page.

Me- chup hoja dhakkan

Kapoor-or us din to bade serious se face banake bol rahi thi ye assignment to mai apni copyright laga ke hi doongi …(she laughed out loud saying this reiterating how damn serious faces and talks I was making that day)

Me- haan to khud hi to karoongi ,tujhe kisne kaha karne ko …overhead or hai dhundhna padegaa kiska sabse chota hai..

Arora- amazing, I still don’t believe you have done nothing.

Me- haan theek hai mat kar,just few hours and you wont have to believe either !

Kapoor- kal to Sunday tha pure din kya kiya tune?

Me- mai subah uthi, fir ready hoke khana khaya , paper padha , bhai se uske vit ka paper discuss kar apna sir khapaya ,fir so gayee, fir shaam ko sis ke saath shopping karne chali gayee..fir shaam ko dd-1 or dd-2 ko dekhke fir se dimag kharab kiya , fir khana khaya ,or fir raat ho gayee to so gayee…

Kapoor- wow such a busy day it was…ye madam or original assignment, kabhi nahi !

Me- chup ho ja,bahot paka liya , assignment de tera idhar ..

So fortunately I found 2 assignments of kapoor and jain(such a sweet girl she is) that looked quite good according to my standards. Now since mp has as many diagram as no of coaching classes a city of India has in every gali-mohalla, I distributed those 4 big diagrams among me-1, kapoor-1, arora-2 on the condition that I am gonna buy them 2 chocolates.

Later, on the request of some girls who also haven’t completed their assignments (though theirs was in last stage) mam declared the deadline at 11 o’clock. I continued my tepaa-maaring operation at full pace, with some simultaneous actions like wrinkling forehead and nodding head every now and then while next class was going on. I continued this head-buried task till 10 o’clock, blowing upward to remove locks that kept coming on the forehead even after tying them or clinging them behind the ears that I just hate. (Thanks to the step-cut I have). So again got attendance without paying any heed to what actual topic bhonpu was teaching.

By the time 11 o ‘clock what I got 10 more assignments to be submitted of other girls. But again mine is not completed and neither of two more girls. Anyhow I submitted mine with other some10-12 at 11.30, by gods grace no one was not in staff room so escaped from there without getting questioned. Though she has not asked anything yet but even if she had we would have said ‘mam hum to 11 baze hi rak ke aye the, ap the hi nahi vahan ‘.

Anyways so lesson learnt even if you haven’t done your assignment on time, get the skills to finish it in just a couple of hours, here are a few tips-

- Find assignments with short answers, that will take a few minutes but correlate it with the ‘planning ‘ that parents do for arrange marriages to execute things smoothly.

- Forget everything for those hours, bhookh-pyaas sab kuch . Be patient even if your bladders are playing havoc. But remember your friends who can also forget all this for a few chocolates. (kapoor,arora mai tum logo ke baarien mai bilkul nahi bol rahi hoon, sachhi )

- Even after all this it seems to be endless, do what I did from 11 to 11.30 time interval.Find keywords or main points of the answers, jot down them,explain them and underline them. It will give a wonderful look to your assignment, like you have covered everything.

- And most importantly work upon your handwriting from the very beginning (I mean when you start your assignment not since childhood), make words a bit enlarged and give a bit more space between them. That will give a clean look and enable evaluator not to wear his/her extra eyes. At your side it will become a bulky one, which teachers like most often.

I hope they will help to a great extent. But I stick a disclaimer here please don’t send me spam mails (because you cant do anything more than that) if you don’t get your desired marks or teacher screams at you for wasting a lot of pages that come at the cost of many trees, flora and fauna. But I believe any one of them can help a lot.

Okay I am not writing much, as I got a few humble requests to not to torture people much. Neither will I be writing for a period of about one month. I need to sit and pass in my coming end sem exams, today too it was an internal practical exam of data structures, surprisingly I happened to run my program before anyone and till day after tomorrow I need to execute a list of 25 programs and submit 2 files.Its 1.40 am and guess i wil have to wait for few hours before hitting the bed. Hence proved that I must go far away from this World Wide Web till there are high probability of mine getting trapped in this big web.Gutennacht !